I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
