I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize