I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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