We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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