you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she told me i tasted like america
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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