ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
