Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
