Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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