It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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