we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
