Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
