My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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