shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize