I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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