That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
