K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
