I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
