I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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