No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This baby is an asshole
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
