At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
