Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize