Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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