end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
