i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
sex in a hospital.. check
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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