Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
