whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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