I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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