that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
