I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
