i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I lost the right to judge tonight
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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