im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
