i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
