if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
