Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
