I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
