He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
