This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
