That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize