I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
