i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
