Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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