I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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