i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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