Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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