Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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