You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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