Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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