Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
