we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
