Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
