just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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