He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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