What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
