I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
