a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
