I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
