WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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