shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
