i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
