just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
