I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
