if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
