THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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