I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
