your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
