I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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