Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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