I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
