yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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