it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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