I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
