How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
