Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
