So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
