ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
