Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
