we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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