i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
