nut hugger
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize