i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
