cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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