Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
