you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
