I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
