i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize